Beth’s School of Leadership Story
Last summer, returning to The Poplars felt like coming home.
Five years had passed since I was there before – and driving up the poplar-lined driveway to the venue for the Onelife School of Leadership was a surreal experience. I had been 17 years old, just about to enter my final year of Sixth Form, and I was exploring all the possibilities the future held for me. Little did I know the challenges that were ahead of me for my mental health and faith. In the interim five years, I’d left school and completed my undergraduate degree, started a year abroad in Australia only to finish it during lockdown in the UK, and had cried and laughed and struggled more times than I could count.
The day before arriving at the School of Leadership for the second time, I’d watched my oldest brother get married. Life looked very different at 22 from when I was 17. But when those memories of 2016 hit me, I could see just how transformative that week had been.
I don’t have a dramatic story of how my life has changed beyond recognition due to the School of Leadership – there is no easy tale I can give you which pinpoints a before and after, and puts the difference down to something I’d learnt that week. Instead, the lessons from my School of Leadership experience in 2016 have been more like a fire slowly burning within me, gently teaching me and helping me to grow.
I consider that week in 2016 to be one of the best weeks of my life.
One of the most impactful moments for me on the School of Leadership came on the first day. We were discussing character and personality, using the Myers Briggs Personality Test as a way to reflect on how we all see and interact with the world differently. We divided the room into introverts and extraverts, and when I sat down with the introverts, the other side of the room immediately started trying to convince me I was mistaken and that I should be standing with them instead. At the time I was a little flustered – I remember pointing to my test result and saying, ‘But, but… It says I’m an intr…’ – and then Liz Bewley came out with something that silenced the room.
‘Introverts can be loud.’
I’m not surprised that the other delegates had assumed I’m an extravert. I am talkative, enthusiastic, and I thrive on being busy – which often involves being social. But I recharge and process the world best when I’m on my own. That simple recognition that I could be an introvert even though I didn’t appear to be one was a freeing experience.
I’m still often exhausted because I like to do, and I dislike saying no, but now I’m aware that sometimes things bring us life but not energy and I need to factor both into the way I live.
I can also vividly remember the brilliant session on storytelling. The session was full of laughter, teaching us the fundamentals of a good story and how to share it. I’m still not particularly good at ending a story (I love a good tangent), but this session combined with the one-on-one soft skills teaching gave me the confidence to stand up a little straighter, look the other person in the eye and be real as I talk. I’ve also grown as a storyteller thanks to my best mate from university – more energetic, with a love for hyperbole and painting a picture – but the ability to tell a story well, and the courage to step into a new space even when I’m scared, nervous or feel not good enough, stems from the work God started in me back in 2016. (And I can truthfully say the image of a leader called Tim singing the word ‘hydration’ as if he were in an opera will stay with me forever!)
Back to 2021 – I found much was the same, although some aspects had changed. The session on conflict was hard to sit in knowing it’s still an area I struggle with. New teaching about defining our values has kickstarted a process for me of working out what are the ‘principles I live by and the hills I’m prepared to die on.’ Even though there were no games of hide-and-seek this time, mealtimes and late nights were still spent laughing and chatting. Friendships were still built on the foundation of being real and open with one another. And the Holy Spirit still moved.
The years since 2016 have been full of challenges, highs and lows. But if there is one memory, one lesson – one line – from the School of Leadership that has rung true and that has defined my journey over the last six years, it’s this:
‘Discover God. Discover who I am. Discover how he is calling me to lead.’
There’s no clear-cut before and after. I’ve made so many mistakes since, and there have been many times I’ve missed out on implementing the lessons I’d learned. But it’s all been there, at the back of my mind, helping me to grow. My journey has been all about discovering God, and discovering who I am in him. That’s the ultimate goal of my leadership, and the best lesson I will ever hear. And the beauty is – it’s still ongoing.
In 2016 I summed up the School of Leadership in three words: Unforgettable; Inspiring; Family.
That really was my experience. I hope it will be yours too.