Creating a Group Culture of Vulnerability
Perhaps the thought of vulnerability conjures up an image of weakness, threat and fear. Or maybe it’s something you’d associate mostly with individual one-to-one relationships.
But what could happen if we unlocked vulnerability for an entire group? It’s a powerful shift – and here are some top tips to help create a culture of vulnerability for you and your young people.
1. set the bar
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable yourself. To set a culture of vulnerability, your group needs to know and trust that you are walking alongside them and taking part with them. It doesn’t mean you have to tell them everything you are currently finding difficult, raw or painful – it's okay to share vulnerably about things you’ve already walked through and processed. We call this sharing your scars, not your wounds. As a leader, choose to set the tone for the group and build trust by being the first to share.
Jesus opened himself up through vulnerability: through weeping and asking his disciples to stay awake with him in the Garden of Gethsemane as his time to go to the cross drew near. He wasn’t a leader who only showed authority and power. Lean in and open yourself up, and create the space for the group to connect.
2. Be intentional
Vulnerability begins with a choice to go beyond surface-level connections and let others in at a deeper level. But this requires space and time. You’ll find you have to make a deliberate choice to create a space for vulnerability – so think beforehand about what it will look like, when you’ll make time for it and what questions you’ll ask. It will be easy to be discouraged and move on quickly to the kinds of activities that lead to more immediate responses, but they can ultimately only build surface-level connections.
Choose to trust that your group will lean into the space you create – even if it takes time. This means allowing for awkward silences!
Some of the language we use at Onelife involves asking ‘Where are you winning?’ and ‘Where are you losing?’ We create space on a Monday to talk about our weekends using these questions, and it helps us go beyond the classic ‘How was your weekend?’ It means we can really understand where each other is at as we go into the new week.
3. It doesn’t always mean intensity
Genuine connections are formed through deep conversations and moments of fun and laughter. Both are important for real relationships to be built within your group.
Opening yourself up on a deeper level can feel incredibly exposing and can be quite a scary prospect for some people. It’s important to provide space for trust to be built through the lighter moments as well – you don’t have to be intense all the time! Find a balance that works for your group, but don’t neglect one for the other.
Explore Vulnerable Leadership with the Onelife Leadership Sessions
Session One of the 18+ Stream helps you to unpack Vulnerable Leadership. You could either explore this session with an 18+ group or with your volunteer youth team.