Internship Reflections
I look forward to the day, many years from now, when I can sit in a rocking chair with my own homemade knitted cardigan and blanket (surely essentials for every granny, right?) and tell tales of the coronavirus lockdown of 2020 – the same way my grandparents have told me story upon story of their experience of life in World War II!
During this season I have been coming the end of my one year internship with Onelife – a year which I have absolutely LOVED! I came into this year after three years at university studying the fantastic subject of Geography (the human one, where I studied migration and stuff – I have limited knowledge about rocks and volcanoes) and was absolutely ready for a year of adventure, lesson learning, experience and a whole lot of fun. It did not disappoint! I have had the most unreal experiences and opportunities, including travelling to Scotland and Norway for youth conferences, leading worship and seminars at our big Onelife Conference in February, and getting to spend time with a whole bunch of amazing young people from around the UK. I’ve made memories I’m sure that I will absolutely cherish for a lifetime!
However, these past four months have had life-altering consequences for all of us. Our work, school and home lives have been totally flipped on their heads. For many of us, working at home from a makeshift office is our new normal. Many of us have learned how to home educate, while others have been facing furlough and even redundancy. Still others have faced sickness themselves or the sickness or loss of a loved one, and there are many others who have been continuing to go out every day to work as our front-line key workers. But we all know this.
It has been a very strange time. For some it has been totally all-consumed by anxiety and grief over fear of the coronavirus itself, while for others, anxieties and worries may be over financial security. For some, it has been a very lonely time, where seeing friends and family has been totally out of the question. I’m sure I am only scratching the surface here.
But it has also been a formative time.
For me, lockdown has meant facing bereavement and terminal illness of loved ones head on, and watching my future ‘plans’ not being possible anymore thanks to our less-than-lovely friend, Covid-19. I have been faced with the question of ‘What’s next?’ and ‘What should I even do with my life?’ This perhaps has been encouraged and emphasised by spending lockdown back in my family home with my parents, where they, and wider family members, are constantly asking me those questions too. I’m sure that the search for what is next and to find a job in the this climate is a scenario in which I’m not alone.
In the middle of all of this, I was journeying with the Onelife Young Adult Book Club, reading The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero. (Side note, this is a book I couldn’t recommend highly enough!)
There is a chapter called ‘Planning and Decision Making’, which felt very fitting to be reading specifically in this season for me. I expected I might find some answers and top tips for making decisions well, which was the case, but in the end wasn’t my key take-away from the book.
The first half of the book, called ‘The Inner Life’ was actually far more challenging and important. I realised again the trap of placing an over-emphasis on what I do and what others think of me, rather than realising whose I am and what God says and thinks of me.
I have practised the four key steps in this process outlined by Peter Scazzero:
Face Your Shadow
Lead out of your marriage/singleness
Slow Down for Loving Union
Practice Sabbath Delight
These are very helpful in aiding us to do a deep MOT of our spiritual and emotional health. For me, the benefit of journeying through this in this season has been that I have had time to process this all thoroughly.
Through this process I have seen a deep transformation of my heart.
“The LORD your God is in your midst
a Mighty One who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness,
he will quiet you with his love;
he will rejoice over you with loud singing.”
— Zephaniah 3:17
This is the greatest revelation and transformation I have had from this season. This is what I want to take from this season. A greater depth of understanding to my very core of who I am.
God takes great delight in me; I am rejoiced over with singing by the Almighty God. And he is with me. He saves me. And he loves me.
Yes, the decision of what I do with my life come September is important. However, I know that the Mighty One is with me and in whatever I choose is next, I know he is with me, he loves me, he takes delight in me and he is fighting for me.
“When the time is right, I the LORD, will make it happen.”
— Isaiah 60:22
These truths are completely true for you today too. If you are facing some unknowns, if you don’t know what is next, and if you are worried, I encourage you today to bring your circumstances to the Lord and meditate on these verses for yourself today.
If the only lesson I have learned throughout my internship is to greater understand my identity in Christ, knowing I live as a beloved child of God and that this is something that does not change despite the season I may be walking through, then I would say that this year has been a success!
Want to join the Onelife team as an intern?
Applications for our 2021 Internship close on 31 August 2020.